I Gave Every Meeting My Full Attention for a Month—Ichigo Ichie Quietly Fixed My Burnout
Photo: Elio Yañez, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons
I attend roughly 25 meetings a week. Twenty-five! And until last month, I could tell you what exactly zero of them felt like. They'd blurred together into a beige slurry of "can everyone see my screen?" and half-typed Slack messages sent while someone else was talking.
Then I stumbled onto ichigo ichie (一期一会), a concept from the Japanese tea ceremony that translates roughly to "one time, one meeting." The idea: this particular gathering, with these particular people, in this particular moment, will never happen again. So you treat it like it matters—because it does.
Honestly? It sounded like a nice sentiment for a tea house in Kyoto and a completely unworkable one for a Tuesday sprint review in Ohio. But my burnout was bad enough that I was willing to try anything. Here's what 30 days of pretending every meeting was once-in-a-lifetime actually did.
The Rules I Set for Myself
I kept it simple. For every meeting, call, or even scheduled coffee chat:
- Close everything else. Laptop tabs, phone face-down, Slack on Do Not Disturb.
- One breath before joining. A single slow inhale-exhale as the Zoom room loaded. That's it. That's the ritual.
- Learn one new thing about one person. A detail, a preference, a project they're excited about.
- No "let's circle back" unless I meant it. If I said we'd follow up, I wrote it down like a promise, not a polite exit.
Week one was humbling. Turns out I'd been running on meeting autopilot for so long that giving a 30-minute call my actual, undivided attention felt almost physically uncomfortable—like sitting still after too much coffee.
Week 2: The Energy Shift I Didn't Expect
Here's the thing nobody tells you about multitasking through meetings: it's exhausting. Constantly splitting your attention is low-grade cardio for your brain. When I stopped, I expected to feel more drained. Instead, I finished my workdays with this weird leftover energy I hadn't felt since my twenties.
There's actual science behind this. Attention-switching has a cognitive cost—researchers call it switch cost—and it compounds. Every glance at a notification mid-call is a tiny withdrawal from a battery you're already overdrawn on. Ichigo ichie, whether or not you care about the philosophy, is basically a hack for eliminating switch costs in one specific, recurring context.
By the second week, my 3 P.M. slump—the one I used to fight with vending-machine snacks—had softened noticeably. Not vanished. But softened.
The Relationships Part (Where It Got Genuinely Weird)
The one-new-thing rule did something I didn't anticipate. Because I was actually listening, I started remembering that my coworker Dana was training for a half marathon, that our new hire Marcus had opinions about regional barbecue, that my boss's kid had a piano recital coming up.
People noticed. Two colleagues independently told me our one-on-ones felt "different lately." One said I seemed "more here." I didn't have the heart to tell her I'd just stopped checking my phone.
There's a tea ceremony saying that a gathering is a once-in-a-lifetime event for both people—the host and the guest. That reframe hit me hardest. That tedious weekly sync? Someone on that call might be having the hardest month of their life, and the one human thing they get all day might be me actually hearing them out.
What It Didn't Fix
Full honesty, because this is an experiment, not an infomercial:
- Bad meetings stayed bad. Presence does not make an unnecessary recurring call necessary. I still declined two of them in week three, and I regret nothing.
- Some days I failed completely. A sick kid, a deadline, a rough night of sleep—some Wednesdays, one breath and good intentions just don't cut it.
- The energy boost plateaued. Around week three, the novelty wore off and I had to lean on the habit rather than the excitement.
The 30-Second Version for Your Workday
If you want to steal this without the month-long commitment, here's the distillation:
- Before your next meeting, take one breath and ask: "When will I be in this exact room with these exact people again?" (For most meetings: never, in this exact configuration.)
- Pick one meeting a day to attend fully. Just one. See how it feels.
- End with a real sentence. Instead of "okay, bye everyone," try one specific, human sign-off. It takes four seconds and people remember it.
So Is This Genki?
The whole thesis of this site is finding small, sustainable things that generate energy—genki ga deru, as the saying goes. I expected ichigo ichie to be a mindfulness garnish. What I got instead was a genuine recovery strategy hiding in plain sight: less attention-switching, fewer half-conversations draining me in the background, and a workday with a few moments that actually registered as moments.
My calendar still has too many meetings. But thirty days in, I can tell you what they feel like again. Turns out that was the missing piece all along.